The Warrior in You: Courage

Warrior Psychotherapy draws on the core elements of courage, morality, honour, problem solving, excellence, communication, flexibility and adaptability, toughness and situational awareness to optimise performance, resilience, wellbeing and mental strength.[1]

Adversity, difficulties and obstacles in life call for courage. It is a precursor to mental strength, survival of adversity and personal growth. Courage is a universal higher order virtue demonstrating character which can be practiced via determination, perseverance, honesty, integrity, grit, fortitude and so forth. It is defined as the ability to meet difficulties and danger firmly without fear. However, courage is not fearlessness nor recklessness but rather acting despite the fear. Which, for example, when exhibiting moral courage (standing up for what is right) can be at personal cost or risk to one’s character, reputation or standing in the workplace but can also result in greater meaningfulness.

Aristotle explained the virtues as the golden mean between extremes of deficiency and excess. Courage then is the golden mean between cowardice and rashness. Balancing the extremes is thus required as courage without temperance might become rashness or aggression whilst temperance without courage could stifle action.[2] And, action is what is needed to address or manage the obstacles we face. This is, even if you can’t change the situation itself or make it go away, it takes courage to look at how you can respond to it. When you take action, you stretch your comfort zone and whether you are successful or not, you develop a sense that you can handle what life throws at you; you build your resilience – your ability to bounce instead of shatter when faced with setbacks and adversity.[3]

What can you do?:

• Appraise the situation realistically. See it as it is, not how you think it should be or wish it was.

• Remain calm, adaptable and flexible. Getting upset or succumbing to “can’t-stand -itis” won’t help you. It will keep you trapped. Rational thinking, emotional control and identification of positive behaviours will become difficult.

• Marshal your Resources. Identify and use your existing resources to meet the challenge (aka “Bootstrapping”)[4]. Can you draw on others? Research has also shown that, whilst not always possible, the strongest “bootstraps” are interdependently created. An example of this is the tutor effect. That is, the best way to learn something is to teach it. Research has shown that students who were assigned to tutor their peers earned higher scores in the material they were teaching e.g., those who taught maths significantly improved in that subject. Courage is, however, required to embrace “the discomfort of putting yourself in the instructor’s seat before you’ve reached mastery.”[5].

• Change your reaction to it ·  It is the meaning we attach to events and not necessarily the events themselves that determine how we feel about them. Some examples of things you can try to change your reaction, include the grey rock method; humour; emulate how you think your role model might respond (if you have one); challenge unhelpful thinking/reframe the situation - ask yourself powerful questions that include:

  §     What is great or could be great about this situation?

  §     What is not ‘perfect’ yet?

  §     What can I do to make things the way I want them to be, and have fun in the process? – this allows you to focus on what you can do to improve upon the situation and have fun whilst doing so.[6]. For example, can you make it a game?

• Decide to ignore or not let it bother you[7]. Deploy your energy elsewhere where it may be more beneficial to you or others (energy intelligence).

• Identify what you are learning from the experience. How can you use this knowledge going forward? What might you do differently? Implementing this knowledge is another form of courage.

• Identify the positives of the situation i.e., does it afford an opportunity to do what you’ve always wanted to do e.g., travel, write a book, change careers; if you are dealing with a difficult person, you can’t change them but you can change how you respond to them, so you could try identifying what is positive about the person – their good qualities. Every challenge brings with it the seed of an equivalent benefit, even if you can’t immediately see it.

• Shift your focus and energy to what is within your control e.g., use it as an opportunity to practice one or more of your values; set realistic achievable goals: help someone else - shifting your focus beyond yourself can be beneficial in gaining confidence and competence to overcome obstacles. Helping others overcome their obstacles is a great way to build our own motivation; problem solve.

• Reward yourself for gains, even if they are small – this will help with managing difficult circumstances and build your motivation levels to survive. A sense of progress, no matter how small is indicative of productive movement.

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References:

[1] Tavakoli, H.R. & Van Dell, L.L. (2023) .Warrior Psychotherapy: A concept in Restoring Emotional Health. Psychiatric Annals. Vol 53, No. 4; 179 – 183
[2] Newstead, T. (2022). Being Explicit About Virtues: Analysing TED Talks and Integrating Scholarship to Advance Virtues‑Based Leadership Development. Journal of Business Ethics 181; 335-353
[3] Dunn, C. “Crappy to Happy. Love What you Do”. Hardie Grant Books
[4]Grant, A. (2023). Hidden Potential. The Science of Achieving Greater Things. Penguin Random House UK.
[5] Ibid page134
[6] Jackson, A.J. (1995).“The Secrets of Abundant Happiness”. Thorsons An Imprint of Harper Collins Publishers.
[7] Siebert, A., Ph D (2010). The Survivor Personality