The Warrior in You: Resilience
We live in a world that encapsulates the VUCA acronym: Volatile; Unknown; Complex; Ambiguous. Successfully navigating this requires a psychological fitness the foundation of which is resilience.
Resilience is our ability to bounce versus our sense of being overwhelmed or shattered by challenging events. Gabriella Rosen Kellerman and Martin Seligman in their book, “Tomorrowmind” refer to resilience as being nuanced and encompassing our responses to events as they happen; our preparation for events that are anticipated and the way in which we process events that have occurred.[i] They also suggest the term isn’t limited to the individual but can refer to the behaviour of teams and organisations.[ii]
The individual scope of resilience is on a spectrum – the higher the levels of resilience, the happier, healthier and more successful one will be in rising to the challenges of the VUCA nature of life.[iii] The left hand side of the spectrum showcases people who struggle with challenge. The far right hand side has those who thrive, grow and improve with the stress of challenge. For example, Adversarial Growth (aka Post Traumatic Growth) – “the process of positive changes in perception of self, philosophy of life, relationships with others and meaning making that occur during or after a crisis or trauma.”[iv] Nassim Nicholas Taleb coined the term “antifragile” to describe the ability to thrive and grow from challenges. Examples would include:
Strengthening of a muscle post exercise[v] – the human body strengthens with exercise making it more robust and less prone to disease.
The cognitive acuity and agility that comes with posing problems and problem solving.
Diversification and in particular identity diversification. When going through stressful events, take time to remind yourself of everything you are and everything you can do. You are not just your current situation. You may be active in your community, you may be a parent, friend, lover, content creator, board member and so forth. When challenged, identify the many facets of your value and recognise that you can’t be reduced to just one e.g., the job you do[vi]. In other words, there is no single point of failure. Recognising this will help you rise to and navigate the challenges you face.
As has been mentioned in an earlier blog post, resilience isn’t fixed. Altering it however depends upon a variety of factors, five of which are key:
1. Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is a core principle of resilience and refers to our ability to “flexibly and productively manage our emotions in order to achieve our goals”[vii]. If we do not regulate our emotions, we risk being overwhelmed by negative emotions. This can impede rational, clear thinking and, if we act in that state, there is the potential for regret.
We can be hijacked by our limbic system which is responsible for our fight-or-flight response. Cortisol is released from the amygdala when we experience stress or fear which can result in physiological responses that don’t correspond with the perceived threat.
When we regulate our emotions we are seeking space between what has occurred and our response to what has occurred. We are buying time, to objectively evaluate the situation and respond appropriately and in accordance with our values.
The following are beneficial in cultivating emotional regulation:
a) Slow down
Create a space between the triggering event and your intended response to it so that you create an opportunity to carefully choose how you want to respond.
Build your self-awareness. Try noticing and naming what you are feeling e.g., is there a sense of anxiety, hopelessness or anger? Ask what is triggering how you feel. Tap into what your body is experiencing: what are your physiological responses?
If you are in a heightened state of emotion, delay any response by taking some action that gives you DISTANCE between what has occurred and your response to what has occurred. For example:
Go for a walk – by shifting your physical environment, you can shift your mental state. By giving yourself a green prescription the mind has an opportunity to “move to discursive thought, which is slower and calmer, creative and curious…[Nature] is a sanctuary environment which calms the mind and eases the body”[viii]. When making decisions, it is preferable to make them from a state of calm.
Call a trusted friend – They can help with gaining perspective.
Engage with some other distracting task – e.g., weed a small section of your garden, collect the mail, do the laundry.
b) Practice mindfulness
Look at relevant apps that can help with this e.g., Smiling Mind.
c) Reappraisal
This allows for re-evaluation and a tempered response because in reappraising you are stepping back from your thoughts and emotions and challenging your initial reactions. It is an attempt to interpret the situation calmly, adaptively and positively e.g., interpreting the loss of one’s job, not as a personal failure but as an opportunity to engage in personal side projects that have stalled, or identify one’s skillset and attempt to create an income stream utilising those in a way you haven’t previously whilst continuing to look for a job in your field e.g., you may be skilled in handyman type tasks and can offer that service.
The attitude you adopt and the actions you take are up to you. As Victor Frankl said, the “last of the human freedoms [is] the ability to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
2. Optimism
Optimism encapsulates hopefulness and confidence about a positive future or outcome. Optimists are more likely to be happy[ix], more physically and psychologically resilient and adopt a stress is enhancing mindset[x].
The optimistic bias is an expectation of a positive outcome. It is also about how we explain to ourselves what we are experiencing and our beliefs around control. Seligman’s research around optimism has shown that those who believe “causes of setbacks … are temporary, changeable and local do not become helpless readily”[xi]. This is even in the face of events that are inescapable. In his research, the stories people told themselves to cope in their discomfort did not correspond with their experience[xii].
Strategies to enhance optimism include:
Being mindful of negative inputs such as media and social media platforms
Celebrating small and big achievements in life
Adopting an attitude of gratitude and journaling about it - Research has shown there are numerous benefits which include decreased aggression, hostility and entitlement, better quality sleep and improved decision making and so forth. Robert Emmons has said “gratitude makes us appreciate the value of something, and when we appreciate the value of something, we extract more benefits from it; we’re less likely to take it for granted…Instead of adapting to goodness, we celebrate goodness…with gratitude we become greater participants in our lives as opposed to spectators.[xiii]”
3. Cognitive Agility
In a VUCA world, the best way to fight Ambiguity is with cognitive agility, flexibility and adaptability. When we are cognitively agile, we move away from a “one size fits all” mentality and we are able to brainstorm and consider many possible options before selecting the best one to act upon – strong problem solving and communication skills are essential to a successful outcome.
Underpinning requirements are curiosity, a positive failure culture or mindset (i.e. it is ok to make mistakes – they are fantastic learning opportunities), a readiness to assess the challenge before acting and situational awareness i. e. “understanding the resources available, understanding the priorities of those around you, and understanding how you fit into a larger picture.”[xiv]
Identify and guard against unhelpful thinking. It is a predictor of poorer resilience (more towards the left hand side of spectrum). For example, catastrophizing (i.e., the negative probabilities such as loss, failure, rejection), which is often expressed in “what if” scenarios e.g., “what if I lose my job, and can’t pay my bills?”[xv] Catastrophizers tend to be low in cognitive agility (i.e., they are single outcome focus), emotional regulation and optimism. This is supported by research showing that catastrophizing military personnel deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq, when faced with severe combat, were more likely to develop PTSD[xvi].
When we challenge unhelpful thinking by seeking a more rational explanation, the more flexible and agile we become and the easier it becomes to navigate challenging environments and manage our stress levels.
4. Self-Compassion
Kristin Neff believes self-compassion has three elements[xvii]:
Self-kindness vs self-judgement
“Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, fail or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. Self-compassionate people recognise that being imperfect, failing and experiencing life difficulties [are] inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.”
Common humanity vs isolation
“Self-compassion involves recognising that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to ‘me’ alone.”
Mindfulness vs over-identification
“Mindfulness is a non-judgemental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to supress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be ‘over-identified’ with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.”
5. Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy is our belief that we can succeed in our endeavours or achieve the things we want. It is closely tied to cognitive agility and is a major player in motivation and our willingness to persevere. Self-efficacy is also capable of being built because it is a perception. Ways to do this include:
Acknowledging our achievements, skills and abilities. Making sure that our self-expectations are realistically achievable. Extinguishing perfectionistic thinking in favour of focusing on our past successes, abilities and strengths. This reinforces the belief that we can succeed.[xviii]
Building mastery – setting realistic and attainable goals which when achieved help to build confidence. We set ourselves up for success when we break each goal down into smaller steps and focus our execution of them. Our success there gives us confidence to take on greater challenges in the future.
Being open to change and growth
_______________________________________
References:
[i] Rosen Kellerman, G., and Seligman, M., (2023). Tomorrowmind. Nicholas Brealey Publishing. London. Boston.
[ii] Ibid pg 62
[iii] Ibid pg 62
[iv] Waters, l, Professor. (2022). “Beyond Resilience – How to Foster Adversarial Growth”. In Psych Vol1:44.
[v] Rosen Kellerman, G., and Seligman, M., (2023) .pg 63
[vi] Epel, E., PhD. (2022). The Seven-Day Stress Prescription. Penguin Random House UK.
[vii] Rosen Kellerman, G., and Seligman, M., (2023) .pg 65
[viii] Epel, E., PhD. (2022). pg 122
[ix] Edelman, S. PhD (2013). Change Your Thinking. 3rd Ed. ABC Books pg 345
[x] McGonigal, K. PhD. (2015). The Upside of Stress. Avery (Penguin Random House ) New York
[xi] Seligman, M.E.P, PhD. (2013). Flourish. Atria pg 189
[xii] Rosen Kellerman, G., and Seligman, M., (2023) .pg 70
[xiii]Brené Brown (2021) “Atlas of the Heart”. Penguin Random House UK pg 213
[xiv] Tavakoli, H.R. & Van Dell, L.L. (2023) .Warrior Psychotherapy: A concept in Restoring Emotional Health. Psychiatric Annals. Vol 53, No. 4; 179 – 183
[xv]Edelman, S. PhD (2013) .Change Your Thinking. 3rd Ed. ABC Books
[xvi] Rosen Kellerman, G., and Seligman, M., (2023) pg 73
[xvii] Brené Brown (2021). Atlas of the Heart. Penguin Random House UK pg 138
[xviii] Edelman, S. PhD (2013). pg 294